There’s a really weird thing about having had anxiety attacks in the past but not regularly — you’re left wondering when the next one might happen.
Like, shit in my life is a bit weird/in flux at the moment (to put a positive spin on it). I have every reason to be stressed right now, yet I’ve been in a ridiculously good mood all day. Having no idea where this good mood came from, I have been cautious all day in anticipation of an anxiety attack. In the past, they’ve been preceded by moments of inexplicable joy, bordering on delirium, so now whenever I’m happy for seemingly no reason, I fear what might come next rather than just enjoying the happiness.
So am I actually in a good mood? Have all the right things happened so far today to put me here? Is an attack actually on the horizon? If not, can I just shut my worry up for long enough to keep this good mood going?
Those are my thinky thoughts for the day. I shall now listen to music I love, hoping this good mood remains.
